1. Tonight as I talked my daughter through her bedtime routine, I said aloud, in all seriousness, “Let’s go brush your tooth*.”

2.  I spent several minutes searching for what I kept mentally referring to as a “Smoothie**.” Hint: I needed to write something on a CD.

3. I forgot how to say “car wash.” As in, I was driving in a semi-unfamiliar area, and I pointed to a business on the corner and said, “Oh, I know where I am. I recognize that…that…you know, that place with the hoses and vacuums.”

I am only allowed to say this as a native of the country, but I am one big freakin’ West Virginia joke.

*Yes, that’s right, a tooth. Bottom left. My dad noticed it the day of my grandma’s funeral. I, who had been expecting it for so long with so few results, hadn’t even noticed its arrival.

**Give up? I was looking for a SHARPIE. That’s the opposite of Smoothie, right? Because it made perfect sense to me.