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This just in: Pop star Michael Jackson was spotted shopping in a Bahrain mall on Wednesday, hiding his face behind a veil and donning a black robe traditionally worn by women in the Gulf.
He also had his kids veiled and robed, and a friend at work told me he was recently discovered in a women’s bathroom. He said he was “confused.” Never has a truer understatement been uttered.
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I’ve officially declared myself “sick,” and today I have cramps, so this is all I have. I’ll try to say and/or do something intelligent tomorrow.










