Consider the following:

• Yesterday, before and after The Da Vinci Code, I washed two loads of laundry. I hate folding laundry, so I left the clothes in the laundry basket until this morning, when I dumped its contents on my bed, a self-imposed ploy to force myself to fold the clothes before I go to bed*.

• This morning Suzanna was acting strangely, like she was having trouble breathing and standing up. Although we later went on what seemed to be a completely normal walk, she IS almost 11, and she is my baby, and in typical “me” fashion I freaked out. So I left her in the house, and on my way to work I called Gayle and asked her to check on the dog sometime today, preferably around lunchtime. She said she would.

When I returned home this afternoon I found a frisky, completely normal Suzanna (perhaps she was pouting this morning because I made her get off the couch?) and THIS:

Please disregard the aforementioned pile of unfolded laundry and pay special attention to the BEAR dressed in my FAVORITE HOODIE and JEANS. It should go without saying that I almost wet myself from fear when I came around the corner and flipped on my bedroom light. I am surrounded by weirdos.

*Which I still have yet to do, and it’s bedtime. Dammit. If you know me at all you know those clothes are going right back in the laundry basket.